Everything has its limit!
I say this to myself and to others usually. When I first came here to the Cardiff city to do my post graduation, I didn't have the slightest idea that I would find such good company here. The company of friends. It took me, for the first time I suppose, almost no time to get along with people here so easily. Almost all of my friends are from the same country, and being away from respective home played its part, and we quickly became comfortable with one another. Sharing our stories with each others, cracking jokes at almost every sentence we spoke became the norm. However the speed has its repercussions as well. And it happened here too, for me at least.
A big part of my life during and after graduation had been filled with serious reading and contemplation, and discussion of issues that hardly any one of my age would have done at that stage. The friend circle that I've always had, especially after my graduation is the one I know I would cherish till my time comes. The intellectual atmosphere that I was in, the spiritual uplifting that I got was refreshing. Every time I felt like I was losing myself, I would seek the company, meet with those friends and then feel the rejuvenation. It was this friend circle, the reading and the discussions within it that actually and eventually brought me to this city for doing my MBA.
Now, as I'm here, I was supposed to do my work sincerely as I had taken a risk of leaving a good-earning job for it. Alas, I'm not doing that. I blame myself for it. I've let myself too much into the jokes and senseless discussions here. It's reaching the brink of insanity. My reading has gone to the lowest, my studies disrupted. And the worst, I now feel like I've even started losing my religion. It is just at the beginning stage, but I can sense the decline in the spirituality - the very force that keeps me ticking. Maturity is one thing I feel lacks so much in our talks. This I miss the most. And from my past 2-3 days it's actually making me feel like I've had enough of all these. I want to go back home as soon as I can... Miss the maturity, miss the touch with the reality. I don't wanna get trapped in the matrix of delusions!
God help!
P.S. (This was by no mean a critique of my friends here. No. They are my treasure! I'm simply turning over the coin and looking at the other side of it. It is a critique on myself.)
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